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I voted this morning.

This is the first time I have ever voted where there were still “I voted” stickers left for me to take!  I think this is a Good Omen.  I’m going to my total BFF’s house tonite for an Election Party as her husband is out in the woods for the week.

That is another Good Thing about having been left by my husband; my total BFF is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER now.  And, I love this.

My friend Lou sent me some flowers yesterday and the card read “Unbroken Spirits Rock!!!!!!”  Everyone passing my cube said, “Oh what lovely flowers!  Who’re they from?” and I’d say my friend Lou.  They’d ask, “Why?” and then I’d say with a completely straight face – Oh, because my husbands left me.

The look of shock and horror on their faces is worth it almost!  I like to shock and awe.

Move in day went very smoothly.  I’m all in and settled.  The accent walls in the kitchenette in my little “cottage” (which is what I’m making everyone refer to it as…) is Tiffany’s Box Blue and all the other walls in the cottage are a Crisp White.  I. Love. It.  Holden’s room is Navy Thunder Power Ranger Blue per his request.  He hasn’t seen it yet as he’s with his Daddy this week, but he says he’s very excited.

I am so blessed to have this kid who is so easy breezy.

This is not the situation I’d prefer to be in, but its the situation I’m in.  I’m making Lemonade, ladies.  And, my does it taste sweet.

p.s.
Dear Candidate,

Well?  Tonites the Big Night!  Are you totally psyched?  I am!  My fingers and toes are crossed.  I’ll try to wait up till the very end!

Very Excitedly,

jen

Those of you that know me will know that I have a pretty laid back parenting style (that is until that kid pisses me off).  I don’t really make Holden do anything.  Other than piano.  We MAKE him take piano.  But, I know that as a parent you only get so many battles, and I’m saving all of mine up for when he’s a teenager.  Its at that point I think I’ll really shine as a parent.  I look forward to buying him his first car!  So I can take it away from him…bwaaahahahahah!!!

And, don’t try to burst my bubble, here, okay?  I live for 16.

Anyhoodle…Holden, until recently, didn’t really have any “chores”.  Mostly because, really?  How big of a mess can one kid make?  And, I like to pick things up to ensure they go back in the right bin.  And, if I ask him to take care of something, he rarely gives me any resistance.  He’s pretty easy going, too.

One day I just got sick of unloading the dishwasher.  Simply?  I HATE taking the dishes out of that machine.  I’d rather just wash them by hand and take care of them.  Alas, I am too lazy for that, too.  So, I said, “Buddy?  Your new job is to empty the dishwasher.”  He said, “Okay.”  Too easy.

This is how Holden takes care of the dishes.  Wrongly.  And, I know this is my  hang-up, I do.  I am just really particular about which compartment the big spoons and little spoons go in.  That is to say they both have their own compartment, and, gee wouldn’t it be great if they actually ended up there?  Same goes for the forks.  And?  The pots go on that side of the cupboard; the tupperware goes there.

But, he’s only nine.  So I don’t actually SAY these things to him.  Well, I have mentioned the silverware once or twice.  Or thrice.  And then I may have mentioned that I was sick of mentioning it and to get it right, already!  And, he may have told me that he would remember it a little easier if there weren’t SO MANY forks and spoons!  Gosh!

But, at least I’m not doing the work.  I can’t wait til I feel he is old enough to deal with chemicals, and his butt will be totally cleaning the bathrooms!  Yahoo!

I AM so lucky to have a kid like Holden.  He is one funny dude.  Until he is not.  Then he’s a total pain in the butt.  Those days are, luckily, far and few between.  Its so easy to forget how good you’ve got it. 

I try to remember and be grateful for my family every day.  This little nest we three have created for ourselves.  Its easy to take it for granted…Especially when your husband scores ONE ticket to see the Candidate at the University tomorrow, and does not get you a ticket, or try very hard to get you a ticket, at least, because, what? its not like you aren’t so very passionate about this candidate that seeing him in person could very well change your life…Yes, yes.  Its easy to lose sight of the bigger picture which is that everyone is healthy, and for the most part; happy (especially Big Hands).

And most importantly?  The dishwasher is emptied.  Well, that, AND that there are no wire hangers…

ABOUT SCHOOL

Written from memory from a conversation we had about five minutes ago.  I should carry a tape recorder with me at all times:

In Middle School and High School there are a lot of groups.  Cool, Nerd, Jock, Jerk.

The Cool Kids get the girls and wear the good clothes.

The Nerds are all about schoolwork, schoolwork, homeword, social studies work, and educational work.

The Jocks are too physical, and the Jerks are just ‘eeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh’.

You don’t want to be in any of these groups because you don’t want to be too educated, you don’t want to be too physical, you don’t want to be meanie, but I guess you want to be a little cool.

You don’t want to fall in love with a girl thats older than you because if that girl already has a boyfriend, well then that’s bad.  And she’ll also think that she is a Wolfette and you are a cute little puppy dog.

I said, Where in the world did you hear such a thing?  He says, I just KNOW things Mom.  I said, Yeah.  But where’d you hear it from?  He says, Suite Life of Zach and Cody.
Thanks Mickey.

ABOUT THE ELECTION

I try really hard not to force my opinion on Holden.  I wish I could say the same for BH!  This conversation WAS indeed apropo of nothing.

He: I really don’t think John McCain made a very good Vice President choice.

Me:  Who IS his choice, Buddy?

He: I dunno her name.  That lady from Alaska.

Me:  Why don’t you think she’s a good choice?

He: Well, Mom!  She’s got like FIVE kids!

Me: So?  There’s lots of mommies who work.  I work.

He:  Well, she’s got a baby who has Down’s Syndrome!  When you are the Vice President, I suppose you hafta spend a lot of time in the Office, and she should be taking care of that baby!  What if one day when she’s spending all her time in the Office that baby just (at this point he makes the universal Throat Slit and Croak sign with his finger across his neck)????

Me:  HOLDEN!  That baby is not going to DIE from Down’s Syndrome!

He: Oh.  Well, still.  I could understand if those kids were all college age.  Then they could all feed their own selves.  But they’re not.  Who is going to make them dinner?

Me:  I really don’t know, Buddy.  She fired the Chef.

Dear Candidate,

I love you.  Oh, of course I don’t love you!  I don’t even know you…but I sure like you a lot.  I’m sure there are others like me.  Beyond the obvious, what really got me was your chivalry.  And, of course, your eloquence.  I watched your speech, and cried.  My friends will tell you that’s no big deal, I cry about everything. But I tell you what: I was crying because we’re making history, baby!  I think of all the others that went before you, and I know they’d be proud.  I cannot wait to see you as our president.

Don’t eff it up, okay?

Warmly and Excitedly,

Jen

 

Dear Pierce Brosnan,

Please don’t sing anymore.

Grudgingly,

Jen

Dear Other Candidate,

I just want you to know?  Just in case it doesn’t work out with your veep?  I’ve volunteered in my son’s classroom for like four years now, so I think I’m ready for the job.  Just wanted to put that out there.

Patriotically,

Jen

 

Dear You Know Who You Are,

You should be ashamed of yourself.  Not for the predicament your daughter is in, oh no.  Not at all.  Got myself knocked up before I was wed, and I consider myself a most sincere Christian, with morals coming out of my ears.  No, no.  You should be ashamed for feeding your daughter to the press.  Career be damned!  You sure are showing me what’s important to you. (Hint: not your family.)

Hope its worth it,

Disgruntled voter who’s sure as hell not voting for your ticket

 

Dear Kris Radish,

I get it.  We should all be lesbians.  Probably are.  Point taken.  Can we move on now?

Loved your first book more,

Jen

 

Dear what my husband refers to as Nicotine Withdrawl Dreams,

Stop it alright?  Yer freekin’ me out and making me lose sleep.  Don’t make me start smoking again.

Groggily,

Jen

 

Dear Big Hands,

Thank. You. 

No really.  Thank. You.

Wink, wink.

Very Happily,

Wifey