I just finished reading a peice of shit book.  Normally, you know, I like to curb my language, but really?  This book is a peice of shit.

This book is The Little Friend by Donna Tartt.

I think I read another of hers; The Secret History.  And, I remember liking it.  At least I don’t remember hating it.  And I hate this effing peice of shit book I just finished reading.  I can’t believe that I wasted my time with this crap.  I would give you a review, but I don’t even know what the hell this book is about. 

I started reading it at the beginning of the summer.  But, it didn’t jump right in there and give me the goods right up front.   I’ve read books that start slow before.  Song of Solomon was really slow going.  But, hey!  It was good.  It was worth the effort.  So I put the book down for a while and banged out like 47 other books that DIDNT SUCK.   Then, I have nothing to read, so yesterday I pick this horrendously stupid paperback up and say to myself, “Self, let us finish this.”  Because I thought at SOME point, its gotta go somewhere.

I held on to this thought til the end.  Then?  In the end, I seriously wanted to throw it out my effing window.   I want to stomp on this book and shoot it til its dead.  I hate this book so much.

The quote on the front cover says, “The Little Friend seems destined to become a special kind of classic…It grips you like a fairy tale, but denies you the consoling assurance tha it’s all just make-believe.”  ~The New York Times Book Review

I have never been so proud that I don’t give a crippity crap about the Post’s book review.  The Post should fire itself for having said that.  I wish it would have been a fairy tale that IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII read the book.

I mean, I am going to have to make up an entirely new catagory for this post, this book was that bad.  And, friends?  I like to read bad books.  I mean, I don’t mind reading a pithy book.  As long as it GOES somewhere.

I’m not a book snob.  Really.  I will not read Steinbeck.  He makes me wanna sleep.  See?  I’m not snobby.  Though secretly?  Okay.  I DO think I’m better than you because I’ve read the Fountainhead…

I like CRIME NOVELS!  Or Detective Novels.  Whatever. You know what I mean…I’m just saying that I don’t think my taste in books is better than anyone else’s.  But you should know:  Do not pick up The Little Friend.  Just for this, I don’t think you should pick up The Secret History, either.  Donna Tartt should be punished for making me read 624 pages that LEAD NO WHERE.  JEEZ.  At least Jodi Piccoult goes no where in half pages.

Ack.

In other news…Even though she doesn’t love me as much as she used to because I quit smoking (and I totally understand that sentiment…people who smoke are much cooler than those who don’t…I don’t even really like myself anymore…) I still love her.  And, not just for this.  Mostly?  I love her for him.  Oh, I joke.  Okay, I joke a little.  I heart Johnny…BUT I HEART Erin!!!  You know I do!!   (see?  I gave you your own new catagory, too!!)

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