With Big Hands in Chicago moshing himself silly to Rage Against the Machine, Holden and I took the opportunity to go to the lake.  Just me and Holden.  And, also: Dharma. 

I love the lake.  It is quiet and safe.  Everybody’s kids just hop on their bikes and you don’t see them til dinnertime.

There’s a giant crocodile shaped trampoline out in the middle of the lake, and the kids go out there for hours and jump off it.

I love the lake.  I can usually read an entire novel while I’m there.  Time before last I read Coronado by Dennis Lehane.  It was just a book of short stories, but it was so good.  I wish he’d come out with a new novel…This last time I read a Dean Koontz book.  Lord, in Heaven, I haven’t read a book by him since I was in the eighth grade.  I used to love to hole myself up in my room and read thrillers!  Not that Koontz is thriller-ish.  Is he?  Is that was that genre is?  Whatever.  Used to love it.  Guess I still do!  I ran through that book in like four hours!

I love that kind of laziness the lake affords.  Who has to do anything?  Not me.  Maybe I’ll make you a peanut butter sandwich, maybe you’ll make it yourself.  Who cares!!!

The only thing I absolutely do not do at the lake is sunbathe.  Those days are over for me I think.  Beige is the new tan.

I did something a little different this time at the lake.  Something I don’t often do.  I went ape shit crazy on some little kid.

He had it coming to him.  He called my kid a name.  And, it wasn’t “stupid” or “dummy-head” or any other forgiveable crap name kids call each other.  This name was a personal attack, I felt.  And, Holden wasn’t even really that shook up over it.  But he did quit playing on the crocodile.   That crocodile?  Well its out there, but not so far away from the dock that One Mother couldn’t stomp out there, bend down, and quietly but forcefully through gritted teeth tell those little assholes that they better watch their mouths.  Did they want me to get their mothers(who, btw should have been out there watching their kids, anyway…um…see the sign, moron mommies???)?????  Yeah, well I didn’t think so.  When they call names like that it makes other kids not want to play on that crocodile, and thats not their crocodile.  You got me?  You?  In the blue shorts?  Do. You. Understand. Me?  Good.  Don’t let it happen again.  I’m watchin’ you.

And, then, said Mother may have stomped back to the beach.  But, oh.  One Mother was still mad.  Steaming.  Little bullies.  Who dotheythinktheyareanyway?? Gah.  Then One Mother may walk over to another mom and ask if those are her boys out there.  And that mommy may say no, but she thinks the one belongs to Floyd over there coming in on the jet ski.  And One Mother?  Oh, she might stomp right over to Floyd, jut out her hand in an attempt to shake, introduce herself as “Jennifer, Dallas’ daughter” (because I just assume that everyone knows who Dallas is.  Why?  Because everyone does…) and then dip into a tirade about the name calling and how its “bullshit” and blah blah blah.

Floyd, and I’m not even making that name up, told his boys C’mere and the one just starts a cryin’.  He knows.  The other kid comes too, and already is saying, “I didn’t call him any namth”.  And I’m thinking, Really?  Lispy Lisperton is making fun of my kid???  Floyd tells them that wasn’t nice and he didn’t raise them that way and to apologize to the lady and her son.  And, they do.

And then we shake and go on our way.  But not before Floyd asks me if that was my Gramma that passed away, and I tell him, no, it was my mom.  Der.   

But, I tell you.  I wondered, “did I over react????”.  I asked Holden if I embarrassed him.  He said no.  I told him if people talk to him like that to say, “Do NOT talk to me like that, understand?”  And, I made him practice saying that.  I mean, Holden NEVER gets picked on.  EVERYBODY likes Holden.  What was their problem??  You know what it was?  I heard the dad say, “Buddy, some kids have longer hair.”  Then I was even more pissed.  REALLY?  His shaggy hair is what made those asskids call him names?  Well, they should come into my community with their little buzz cuts.  Cuz here?  We play soccer, and our hair is shaggy.  Our LaCrosse team would Kick Your Ass.

But that’s what being a mother is all about, right?  I can tell, that for me?  Its going to be a constant struggle to keep myself from gouging other kid’s eyes out.

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