My son went on a field trip to a local park today.  When I picked him up I asked if he had fun.

“Yeah.  There was this little playhouse. And people had written stuff with marker and pencil all over it.  One said ‘i heart jeel, he’s hot like fire’.”  And then we chuckled.

I said that I sure hoped there were no bad words there.  He said, “Well…there was this one that said, ‘Travis sucks.  Dick.”  NOW Im sure that it said, “Travis sucks dick”, but Holden had no idea what that meant.  I could tell by the the way he said it.  Like it was two sentences.  And, like it was no big deal to say that word in front of your mom. 

Don’t worry though.  I totally just told him what it meant because he was reading this over my shoulder and wanted to make absolutely sure that I told you about “Travis sucks.  Dick.”  And I said, DONT EVER SAY THAT AGAIN!!  And he said why, so I told him. 

I wish I could have captured the look of sheer hilarity on his face.  Apparently, to an almost nine year old, calling your penis “dick” is funny.  Just about as funny as saying “penis” of “fart”.  Or hearing someone else say “ass”.  Which is the funniest thing ever.

The most NOT funniest thing ever is that Im pretty sure I broke my stomach during yoga this morning.  I found a yoga program on the Oxygen Channel at 6 a.m.   As part of Operation Jen Kicks Total Butt (or should I say ass…tee hee) it has been my resolve to get physical.  I’ve been walking most every night after dinner.  I’ve been drinking forty five thousand million gallons of water a day, and I’ve limited my Oreo intake to 1/4 of a box a night.

Eventually, when I have plumb LOST MY FRIGGIN MIND, I want to start running.  Kir?  You made it sound fun.  Ish.  I want buns of steel.

BUT, I love yoga, and I was in a class before my mom got real sick and I had to quit it.  Then I learned that the teacher went all hinky with her hours and I couldn’t find a class with her that meshed with my schedule.  SO I found “Inhale” with Steve Ross.

This dude is trying to kill me.  He thinks I’m waaaaay more flexible than I am.  He wanted me to sit in a pretzel position and lift my butt off the floor using my arms.  He’s one funny dude, that Steve.  I was sweating like a pig.

And, man, if I wasn’t loving every second of it!