I certainly hadn’t counted on BOTH of my loyal readers to take me back with such open arms!  I thought that you would make me work for it a little more…grovel or something!  (I heart you, and your Irish husband!!)

I quit smoking.  Again.  This totally blows.  I told my boss that I cannot work for her and quit smoking at the same time.  She asked if this was her problem.  I said no, no its not. 

I told my husband to PLEASE please PLEASE!!!! have a little sympathy for a sister!!  Quit trying to incite a riot outta me by being that way!

You know what I mean…when they like say “hi” and stuff?  GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD, that just really Pisses. Me. Off.  Gah.

So….yeah.  Thats pretty much been my week.  Not smoking and trying not to hurt people.

I’m quitting the smoke not because my mother died of cancer.  She didn’t get cancer from smoking..Christopher Reeves wife got lung cancer and never smoked a day in her life.  So, yeah, I’m of the mindset Smoke, or Don’t…somethings gonna kill you.  Die happy, right?  I’m quitting because Holden hates it, and he’s just getting to that age where I can’t hide from him anymore.  He knows what cigarettes smell like.  He asks to smell my breath.  HES ON MY FRIGGIN BACK PEOPLE, AND I WANT HIM OFF!!

I’ve never smoked around him.  Don’t smoke in the house or in my car when he’s in it with me.  But, last year at school they talked about drugs and nicoteen is amidst the drugs of which they speak.  Bah.  So one time this kid catches me smoking and he’s on me like white on rice.  Im sick of running.  Im a grown ass woman!

Plus, I want to outlive BH and reap the benefits of his life insurance policy.  He doesn’t smoke.  Quit the day after we got married.  Makin’ me look bad, the bastard.

I quit cold turkey, too, friends.  Yes.  And, perhaps I’m thinking this was not the brightest idea.  There may be some mint nicorette in my future.

Though, this whole thing has me drinking a lot of water.  Everytime I want to smoke, I drink eight ounces of water all at once.  I’m water logged, but smoke free!  Yay quitting!!

Another benefit of quitting?  Well, dears, I want to eat a whole package of oreos.  And, I do.  Eat them I mean.  With any luck, I’ll have gained forty two hundred lbs. by the end of this week.  Yayyyyyyy quitting.

Everything gets under my skin and I want to kill it.  Especially all the stuff that gets under my skin anyway.  Like those effing mosquitos.  I haaaaaaaaaaate those Effing Mosquitos.  And, printers.  WHY do they get jammed?  Why?  To piss me off is why.  And, staples.  MAN if they aren’t spawn of the devil.  And, husbands.  Ack!  Yay quitting!!!!!!!

I always used to use the excuse that nobody likes a quitter.  I still think that rings true.  I don’t even like me.

Yay.  Quitting.

Thbbbt.

Advertisements