Now I totally have Modest Mouse stuck in my head.  But, that’s okay because I really like that band, but not as much as I love you.

Erin asked me the other day if I had someone to vent to.  And, I do.  Her name is Christen and she has been my best friend for 25 years.  I even count the eight years we did not speak to one another.  Thats just how good of a friend Chris is.

She knows all the Bad Things about me; she even knows the ones that she doesn’t know.  You know?  One of those kinds of best friends.    And, I tell her everything.  The best part about Chris, is that she is honest with me no matter what.  She doesn’t beat around the bush and try to be tactful.  I like that about her.  But, I don’t like that in most people, so don’t even try it.

Chris lets me talk about my mom, and then she just lays it on the line.  Because she knows that I know that she knows that I know.  You know?  Yeah.  Its like that with us.

Though, we did try to go to college (and thusly ROOM together) and that almost broke the deal.  Do not try to live with your best friend in college, okay?  Because there’s a good chance that she’s probably a better person than you are, and your destructive behavior will make her feel like she needs to protect you from yourself and that will just make you hate her, because you WANT to destruct yourself just a little, and then you might not talk for a couple of years after that, and that’s just wasteful of your time.

Also, do not take it personally when your best friend gets married and forgets that anyone exists except her husband.  Do not decide that Fine Then, you won’t talk to her EITHER, so HA!  Because then she will miss out on the birth of your son.  And, then you will miss out on the birth of HER first child, and then, she will also miss out on your wedding (but that part is okay, because most people missed out on your wedding…and that was on purpose).  It will be six years later and that is also incredibly wasteful of your time.

But, know that even after all those years, your true best friend will be able to just pick it up where you left off and absolutely no explainations need to be made. 

And you will have her over for lunch and feed her grilled cheese and tomato soup and yummy cookies and you will both bad mouth your husbands and talk about what kind of brats you are raising.  And you will love her.

Even though her new baby boy pooped all over your off-white sofa.