All of my life I have been That Skinny Girl.  Well, until I got pregnant.  Then I was That Girl Who Wasn’t Sure If That Baby Was Growing In Her Belly, Or Her Ass.  Holy cow!  It also probably didn’t help that during the last four months of my pregnancy I was stopping by McDonalds every night after work for a Reeces McFlurry.  That’s where that extra 70 McPounds came from, I am sure.

The skinniness was especially excrutiating during middle school when I was THE flattest chested girl in my class, BUT!  Oh, butt!  I’ve always had a round bottom.  An apple bottom, if you will.  My dad used to call me “bubble butt”.  Thanks Dad.

And, I also had that perm…Gah…

My metabolism has always worked to my benefit.  And, also the smoking helps.  The last time I quit smoking I immediately gained 15lbs.

But, when I was a kid, and really, up until about two years ago, I could just eat whatever I wanted and there was no show in weight for it.  And, Momma likes to eat.

Still, I eat whatever I want.  And, however much I want of it.  The buffet is my friend.  I’ll eat pretty much anything, too.  I am not a picky eater.  I love to try new things.  I like vegtables, but I’d rather eat them in the form of potato chips.  I think salads are great!  But, given the choice of side salad or onion rings?  I’m picking the rings every time.

I cook a lot of Italian food at home.  I love all the different types of foods you can make with a pasta.  And, Italian food is simple and easy to adjust.  You can throw just about anything into a pot and add elbow macaroni and call it “good”.  Its pretty fail safe.

Oh, but the carbs.  All of my favorite food stuffs are rife with carbohydrates.  Big Hands went on the South Beach Diet a couple of years ago, and did well.  Lost 20 punds, I think.  And, quickly.  The thing about that is I also lost about 15 pounds, and I don’t have that kind of weight to loose.  PLUS, where were my bagels slathered in cream cheese?  Where was my Italian Bread?  My lasagna???

As soon as we, meaning BH, lost the weight, we went off that diet and I gained it all back.  Gotta have my bread!!!

Within the last two years, however, I’ve started to notice that whilst eating everything in sight, though it may not show up on the scales?  It distributes itself nevertheless.   My apple bottom is turning into a watermelon bottom.  And, I don’t think they make jeans for that.

I know all I need to do is consistently exercise.  But really?  That just seems so…so arduous.  I’d rather read a book about exercise and call it good.  But that doesn’t ever seem to tone and trim the way I’d wanted.

And, I’m really not all that unhappy with the way my body looks.  I like having an ass.  I like my hips.  Okay, well I like the way my hips and ass look in CLOTHES.

Before my mother got sick, she was overweight.  And before my Gramma went on her own version of the South Beach Diet, she was overweight.  So, it doesn’t concern me so much with what I look like now, but what I could look like if I don’t keep those damn oreo cakesters out my mouth.

Have you tried those things?  Its like a Suzy Q for the soul.

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