Holden is an only child.  Only children are experiences unto themselves (and myselves!!).  I love having an only child, but I think that we, as parents of an only child, forget that he just can’t do everything with us!

This is the conversation I had with my son last night right before bedtime:

Holden: Pokemon, Pokemon, blah blah blah Jiggelypuff, Pokemon, Pudge Rodriguez, Pokemon.  And, then, when you get older?  You get to Long Kiss people.

Me: Wha???

Holden:  (hands cupped, mouth open, coming in for the kiss)  Like this.  Long Kissing.

Me: (hand in front of my mouth) Yeah, you cannot Long Kiss your mom, though, Buddy!

H: Why not?

Me:  Because we are family.  You can’t Long Kiss your relatives.  Where’d you see this Long Kissing anyway?

H: Smallville.

Me:  Great.  You still cannot Long Kiss your family.

H: You Long Kiss Daddy!

This went on for a while.  I told him that you will go to jail if you French Kiss your cousin, okay?  Because its illegal (in most states).  I told him you can’t even Long Kiss someone until you were at least 16 years old.  Or else, you know, you could go to jail.

Because see?  You think you will not have to have these conversations with your child until he is older.  MUCH older.  Like 42.  But, they are growing up faster these days.  Faster than I did, for sure.  I didn’t even get my first kiss until I was almost 16. 

They see more than we did because they are exposed to more media than we were.  Which, of course, makes me feel like a poor mother.  Obviously, I let my son watch Smallville with me, and now, I am regretting that decision. 

I ‘m not kidding myself.   He would see it somewhere else.  And, really, I am not opposed to Holden seeing people kiss.  BH and I kiss all the time.  I am just opposed to having to talk to my eight year old about kissing.  With tongues. 

The things these kids see on tv now a days.  Even watching the news!  You have to keep your index finger hovering above the mute button.  Holden once had a playmate over for the day, and this kid asked me if I was sad about Anna Nicole Smith.

There are a couple of things wrong with that, but the most disturbing one is that a SEVEN year old BOY knew WHO she was!

I know life would be easier without tv.  But, I love that thing.  I NEED that thing.  I want to Long Kiss that thing.

I guess its a good thing I’m at least 16 years old.

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