1.  you are not always right.  its impossible.  im not always right either, but you SURE as hell arent.  i mean, God did not endow you, personally, with the gift of fricken knowlege.  that was solomon.  you from the Bible?  didn’t think so. 

2. if your name is chad?  not going out with you.

3. if you are an only child – not going out with you.

4.  no, you can’t meet my kid yet.  der.

5.  you don’t like my cat?  eff off. (im dead serious about this one.)  new rule:

6.  no, you can’t meet my cat yet.  der.

7.  if you are shy do not apply.

8.  (flip side) if you’re a dick – back off you prick big jerky guy.

9.  people like me.  if you don’t like me, its prolly cuz you are a number 8.

10.  you spell “getting” this way: G-E-T-T-I-N-G.  not “gitting”.  (as in: im gitting another tatoo tomarrey!)(kid you not.)(okay well…the tomarrey part WAS kidding, but you catch my drift…)

has it really been that long?  have all the men on this planet lost their effing minds? (of course, i don’t mean YOUR husbands…)

Gah.

Advertisement