I’m relationship girl.  I cannot “date”.  I find it absurd and uncomfortable.  How do you keep your stories straight with more than one person at a time?  I do not know.  I can’t figure it out.

So what typically happens is that I meet someone.  We go on a  date to “see how it goes”, and then we end up dating for the next year. 

Either, I’m really good at picking them, or I’m really lazy. 

BUT, regardless of how wonderful the year we dated was, Church Boy and I decided amicably to go our separate ways.  I have too much muchness for someone who is still trying to figure out what they want to be when they grow up.  And, he is totally entitled to not have it all figured out!  He’s at that point in his life…I’m just so way far past that part…

SO, here I am again on my own!  Which is totally not a bad thing for me.  I don’t mind being alone.  But, it’s not what I want in the long run.

Its funny, but that is the hard part of all of this.  I KNOW what I want, so its hard to find.  Like when you go out to find that perfect pair of shoes, or that little black dress.  You KNOW what you want – and you never can find it.  It’s just not there when you need it, but it’s ALWAYS there when you aren’t looking, and of course when you don’t have the money to buy…

Rach thinks I’m being too picky, but really…can you BE too picky when you are a single mother?  I don’t think so.

I’m looking for someone who is perfectly happy settling into the life I’ve created.  I’m not moving.  Ever.  I am finally where I want to be, and I just don’t want to move.  Holden loves it here…I love it here.  I like the art I’ve hung  on my walls, I like the way my books are arranged on my bookshelf.  I like all my cats. 

So I’m kind of selfish.  I realize that.  I feel like I’ve spent so much time living in someone else’s life that I feel now is the time for me.

I gotta keep my muchness.

Okay.  All that said?  I have a kind of blind date on Monday.  So, we’ll see how it goes.

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