I founded this perty little website to show people who I am. And, that was suppose to be That Girl who had a baby and got married and lives her cosmopolitan little lifestyle right here in the Midwest. I wanted to be That Girl who, even though she lives in the Midwest and is a mother and a wife, hasn’t forgotton Who She Is. I wanted to be That Girl who still wants to look spectacular while picking her son up from daycare. Who is involved in the PTO AND works a 9 to 5. That Girl who still paints when she feels like it, but still wants her roses to look awesome from the curbside. That Girl who is Me, but Still She.
But I’m having a bit of an identity crisis, see. Because, as it turns out? I’m actually That Girl Whose Mother is Dying. And, I never thought I’d be her. I guess I just thought that my mother would never die! I don’t know why…it just never crossed my mind.
So all the other stuff seems a bit pithy when your mother is planning All Those Trips She Never Got to Take; when your mother is taking your whole family to DisneyWorld the week after Thanksgiving. Because you start to wonder if your mother is going to make it that long.
God’s got the whole world in His Hands, let me tell you. When she decided to forego treatment, it turns out that it wasn’t working anyway. The tumor has gotten bigger. And, its in her lungs.
And, I did not want to be That Girl who only writes about her dying mother, but I guess that’s just who I am. Today.
6 comments
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August 2, 2007 at 3:07 am
Loralee
I never thought I would outlive any of my children. Writing about it helps me (Although I feel the need to apologize about writing about it, too)
I think writing about this stuff helps. Not just you, either. Most people have a title that they never dreamed they’d have, or their lives take massively different turns than they expected or wanted. Sometimes it helps to read about others facing similar things. At least it helped me.
August 3, 2007 at 4:35 am
hbomb
<333333333333333333333333333333333333333
lovelovelove.
and bb girl you are not just that girl at all, she is just the girl that you gotta be right quick. the girl you are is amazing, thats for sure. xoxox
August 3, 2007 at 7:50 pm
One Smart Cookie
That’s what this bloggy business is all about – writing about whatever the hell you want, whenever the hell you want.
The point is to remember that you are a sum of your parts – no one thing will ever (or should ever) solely define who you are. And so if one part is a little more at the fore-front for a while, that’s OK… but you are still you and there is still more to you than just that one thing.
August 4, 2007 at 12:47 pm
allthepretties
Thank you. You all make me feel very Warm, and Fuzzy. And Sane.
August 6, 2007 at 4:03 pm
coolbeans
Oh, I’m sorry I’m behind in my reading.
I don’t read you so you’ll write what I want you to write about. I read so I can know you. One Smart Cookie really is one smart cookie.
August 7, 2007 at 1:33 am
kelknits
I’d rather you be “That Girl Who Writes About Her Dying Mother” than that girl who doesn’t and keeps it all inside and hides it from everyone. Cause that’s not healthy and since I can’t see you every day anymore and check up on you, I’d rather see that you’re occasionally posting something about how you feel. Ya know?
Smootches.